Subjective Objectivity – The Blog of The Reasonable Man

February 18, 2011

In which I blog about Justin Bieber

Filed under: Uncategorized — mikeshotgun @ 1:55 pm

Hello Blog! Did you miss me? I missed you. Sure has been a wild ride these past few weeks, what with revolutions and the like. There was even a domestic coup for civil liberties, in case you missed it. Hell, a computer won Jeopardy, putting us one step closer to the inevitable obsolesance of humanity, assuming that a zombie outbreak doesn’t occur. But these are all contentious things, and with the exception of the latter, I wasn’t able to commit to a blogpost without it turning into an intemperate and ill-advised public essay. Then there was a series of economic news pieces so utterly depressing that the thought of writing about them through a haze of ignorance and bourbon was too much

But, dear Blog, one thing has brought me back to the fold and one thing alone. Our Lord and Saviour* Justin Bieber has spoken from on High with regards to abortion. To professional Catholic Telegrapher blogger, Christine Odone, this represents a huge coup for the pro-life lobby:

Justin Bieber, pop icon and every teeny bopper’s dreamboat, has given the pro-life lobby a totally unexpected and extraordinary coup: he has told Rolling Stone magazine that he thinks abortion is “like killing a baby”. The 16-year-old, a committed Christian, has actually come out and said that an embryo is a human being. Gasp! Gulp! From Montreal to Manchester, this is the most important person in a teenage girl’s universe. Whatever he says, she will listen – and even maybe act upon.

Gasp, and Gulp indeed Christine, but the question is when the shadowy Hollywood liberal Pharisees will conspire the subdue the Good Word of Bieber.

The pro-choice brigade are gnashing their teeth. Already, liberal women journalists old enough to be his grandmother have been raging against the “inappropriate” subject matter and suggesting that he’s too young to have an opinion on it. Cute, megastar, pro-life? Nooooo! That’s not a formula veteran Hollywood liberals are used to: the stars are far more liberal than ordinary Americans – aren’t they?

Their one hope lies in the showbiz establishment. How long before the elite that runs the pop industry shuts Bieber up? His unfashionable Christian values will irk the group of ultra-liberals who decide who should be promoted and who should be muzzled. They’ll be branding his defence of the rights of the embryo as a “PR disaster” and muttering darkly about how much MONEY this could cost the young star.

Don’t worry Christine, the Word of Bieber shall not be stifled, not while I can still blog, damn it! Here are those considered and sage Christian Bierberian values in full:

He isn’t sure what political party he’d support if he was old enough to vote. “I’m not sure about the parties,” Bieber says. “But whatever they have in Korea, that’s bad.” He does have a solid opinion on abortion. “I really don’t believe in abortion,” Bieber says. “It’s like killing a baby.” How about in cases of rape? “Um. Well, I think that’s really sad, but everything happens for a reason. I don’t know how that would be a reason. I guess I haven’t been in that position, so I wouldn’t be able to judge that.”

Such wisdom from one so young! From his deep thoughts on democratic principles to his espousal of that core element of Christian catachism, that brings so much comfort to the world – Everything Happens For A Reason. Including rape! I’m sure prospective Gospel author Christine Odone can explain that to rape victims everywhere. This sort of sarcastic rejoinder from Jill at Feministe is just wildly off-piste:

Yes, ladies, everything happens for a reason — including being raped and getting pregnant. Maybe next time the Beebs gets into an accident or suffers an injury, he should tell himself that everything happens for a reason, and so there’s no need to avail himself of Canada’s excellent health care system. Wouldn’t want to interfere with God’s plan. That’s what the Koreans do.

Poor Jill. Worry not, my dear, soon Bieber will show you the Way. You will Understand.

And of course it’s like killing a baby. How stupid could I have been, assuming that legal abortion wasn’t actually anything like killing a baby, for so many reasons that I can’t list them all here? Praise Bieber for showing me the Light.

Yes indeed, his collective thoughts are proof positive that these are the opinions of someone who has thought deeply about the world, and come to some stark conclusions about the nature of human morality and the personhood of the developing fetus. It is in no way the rather sad repetition of anti-choice boilerplate that proves he’s not even remotely concerned with the rights and agency of the woman who has to go through the labour of bringing the child to term.

As an example of what passes for Feminazism critique of the pro-life position, here’s a laughable piece from a man of all things, about the supposed “concerns” that women face in the birthing process:

It’s been some time since I read “What Hath God Wrought,” but my recollection is that in the mid-19th century men actually lived longer than women. As a society, the Western world has obviously made significant strides in reducing maternal deaths. (In Afghanistan some 1,400 women die per 100,000 births.) This is excellent news. But it can not obscure perhaps the most specific and nameable species of male privilege–of all the things that may one day kill me, pregnancy is not among them.
My embrace of a pro-choice stance is not built on analogizing Rick Santorum with Hitler. It is not built on what the pro-life movement is “like.” It’s built on set of disturbing and inelidable truths: My son is the joy of my life. But the work of ushering him into this world nearly killed his mother. The literalism of that last point can not be escaped.
Every day women choose to do the hard labor of a difficult pregnancy. Its courageous work, which inspires in me a degree of admiration exceeded only by my horror at the notion of the state turning that courage, that hard labor, into a mandate. Women die performing that labor in smaller numbers as we advance, but they die all the same. Men do not. That is a privilege.
Read the whole thing, if only so you can get a sense of how much better Justin Bieber and Christine Odone would be at managing the business of uterus’ like that of the author’s wife. What relevance have the experiences of Mr Coates in the face of their insuperable superior knowledge? The only reasonable answer is “None”.
The old Me (let us call my prior existence “Before Bieber”) might say “Fuck you Christine Odone for co-opting a 16 year old kid into your dogma on the right of women to choose how to exercise the rights they have over their own body. It might not be so bad if it wasn’t for the fact that the rest of his statement shows that he’s given virtually no thought to the matter beyond reading a placard at a rally somewhere or listenining to Bill O’Reilly. I’m inclined to give Bieber a pass, because at least he has the rather reasonable excuse of youthful ignorance for his views, whereas yours seem to be borne of the adherance to the doctrine of Church heirarchy notable for its misogyny and hypocrisy on the matters of the sanctity of life as well as rather pathetic desire to just piss off liberals.”
Luckily, Bieber has shown me the Light. And the Light is Good.

*SATIRE ALERT!

Cross-posted at Something Quotable

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